joke zz DIVORCE LETTERS

Guo

> Husband and wife joke again! You should check her/his bank account before
> you run away from your wife/husband!
>
>
> Subject: DIVORCE LETTERS
>
>
>
>
> Dear Husband:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
>
> I've been a good wife to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
> for  it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your  boss called to tell me
> that you  had quit your job today and that was the last  straw.  Last
> week, you came  home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails
> done, cooked your  favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You
> came home and ate in  two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
> watching
> the game.  You don't  tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or
> anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever
> the case is, I'm gone forever.
>
> P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't! Your BROTHER and I are moving
> away to Bermuda together! Have a great life!
>
>
>                                                      Your EX-Wife Eve
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Dear Ex-Wife,
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> you and I have been married for seven years, although a good wife is a
> far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
> out your constant nagging. Too bad that it doesn't work. I did notice
> when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came
> to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
> anything if you can't say anything nice.
>
> When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
> BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on
> you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on
> it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed
> fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it  out.
> So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
> quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
>
> But when I got home you were gone.  Everything happens for a reason I
> guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.  My lawyer
> said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So
> take care.
>
> P.S.  I don't know if I ever told you this, but Carl, my brother was born
> Carla.  I hope that's not a problem.
>
>                                          Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
>                                          John

[ Last edited by Guo on 2005-12-8 at 01:06 ]